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Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Karate Kid-ding

Okay so I've realized it's been a month since I've written something here, and people have actually complained about the lack of content here. Not sure what's more surprising, that people read this blog, or that people actually want to read more of this blog.

Have you had a crappy day? Awe, I'm sorry, feel better internet stranger, for alas, behold, yet another..wait for it..

EMBARRASSING STORY!

I try my best to take up Karate. I try and punch, and sound really strong GRRRR. Y'know, the usual, growl at people, shoot them angry looks. The usual. But in reality, I'm as strong and as intimidating as this:
*Insert intimidating growl and awkward dance here*
But really, I think I look like this.
"NO CHICKEN NUGGETS??"

The problem with karate is, they make you do work, and work really hard. I come in here thinking I'm going to wear my gi and look as cool as Ralph Macchio, and people are going to think:
  "Woah, that girl, she's a badass. She's wearing her white belt on her forehead, and not actually kicking but dancing some weird voodoo ritual, but she's still badass."
I'm actually sitting here trying to do squats, and telling my body:
 "No, this is not a toilet cosplay, this is just *Exercise*"
BE STRONG, BE A WOMAN ROAR!!! (I think Katy Perry will very much agree) This is probably the worst interpretation of the philosophy in Karate, so I apologize in advance. I love Karate, I'm just not exactly the best at it!

*Ahem, lemme say that if you're good at Karate and have mastered all these complex Katas like a boss, Kudos to you. It's a complex Martial arts. Here's a pixelated cookie, stranger:








Saturday, 3 January 2015

Heh. (Insomnia blog #1)

It's currently 1:21 AM where I am, and insomnia has reigned it's ugly rear once more. So, what better way to use this insomnia than to write gibberish?
Usually at this hour I feel like writing, but quite frankly, the idea of having a novel that is a complete and utter failure after you have poured hours of your soul into it makes me extremely regretful. Not sure why any of you would want to read about these struggles to begin with, but if you are a writer, I have one thing to say:
Don't stop writing.
It doesn't matter how terrible your novel is, you just moulded characters out of the nothing, and you dedicated time to creating a universe that otherwise wouldn't have existed.
I have a respect for anyone who has ever written a novel. I have written around three, and it's a lot of work.
Although I am frustrated with my characters, they are probably frustrated with me for talking a lot of crap about them. (Sorry.)

1:29 AM: Probably should get to bed, since I have to ski tomorrow morning. Aren't we as humans weird? We decide we want to run down a giant mountain on two blocks of wood and plastic, and stuff. Don't ask me I'm not a ski-builder. 

1:31 AM: Okay it's pretty late now, and hey mom, I know you're going to read this and wonder why your daughter is up at such an ungodly hour writing about two blocks of wood and plastic, and yeah, I don't know either.

1:32 AM:  Isn't sleep weird? It's like, for 6 to 8 hours in a 24 hour cycle we decide we have to lie still and be sort of alive but not quite, then decide it's time to contribute to society once those 8 hours are done? Well, time itself is weird. THERE IS NO REALITY. THERE IS NO TIME. SPACE. NO TIME SPACE CONTINUUM. TIME IS JUST AN ARBITRARY ILLUSION.

1:35 AM: Why is it technicians always have beards? I have never met a technician without a beard. Heh. Guess it's in the job description. Well, I guess I can never be a technician. Or I could, but then I would also be able to be in the circus as a bearded lady. 

1:38 AM: So, hey, I'm going to go lie still for 6 to eight hours and commit to the illusion..Dunno how to end this, erm. Um...