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Saturday, 13 December 2014

You're an arse, Kevin.

This is an open letter to you, Kevin. Yeah, you. 
In case any of you have no idea who Kevin is, he's the guy who was operating the emergency room the day I had uncontrollable nose bleeds. Basically, I was on tumblr, and suddenly my nose turned into a shower head.
But this blog is not about what a crappy nose I got from the nose store, this is about Kevin. 

Me and my mom walk into the emergency room, and there he is. A bald man, with a smug look on his face, and those shower curtains nurses have to wear that I do not know what they are called.

Kevin: Name?

Mom: *Starts to say letters*
He then interrupts my mom after every letter she says, screaming

Kevin:  WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 

Me: V-I-G-N-E-A-U-L-T!

Kevin: K. And what are you here for?

Me: Well all day, I felt-

Kevin: *Interrupts me* I MEAN NOW. NOT ALL DAY.

Me: OK. I am here because I had an uncontrollable nose bleed yesterday and today.

Kevin then rolls his eyes like some sassy woman. 

Kevin: Um. Yeah? I don't see it bleeding right now.

GEE, WILL SOMEONE JUST GIVE THIS MAN A NOBEL PRIZE? Just, hand him a nobel prize for such insightful discoveries. Wow. Just, amazing.

Kevin: So like, why should we admit you then? Tell me why we should admit you. What are your symptoms. 

This goes on for maybe 5 minutes after that. So Kevin, here's my advice: First of all, let the patients speak. Secondly, if I wouldn't have known better, maybe you would have gotten a nice demonstration of my nose bleeds on your shiny shower curtain shirt thingy..so yeah...stop that..please..

(P.S I may be the biggest hyperbole user of all time)

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