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Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Monique's Guide to being a weirdo in public

Everyone's always all about being polite in public. What's that? Just kidding, I can't even go up to someone and ask them for those little ketchup packets. I guess I shouldn't ask the person in the next stall of the bathroom for ketchup packets.
No but to be perfectly candid, I am shy and polite in person. That's why I decided to put together a list of things you should do in public for me! Pfft, I'm not ruining my reputation, go ruin yours for me!

Monique's Guide to being a weirdo in public
1. Walk around a mall or somewhere while muttering to yourself
"Darn, where did my pet snake go?"
2. In the bathroom, quietly slip a note to the person in the next stall that says:
Do you like me?
Yes or no?
3. In an elevator sing
4. Go to a maternity store and try some clothes on. When the store clerk comes over and asks you have everything is doing say:
Why do these clothes make me look pregnant?
5. Ask a random stranger for an autograph and then squeel like a teenager.
6. Go to a store and pick out a bunch of random items. Walk to the cashier. When they ask you if you're ready quietly whisper:
"You'll need these items in your future, use them wisely."
Slowly walk away.

Alright, see you guys.

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